Part 10 - Toby

This Is one Is going to be tough. (I ugly cried the entire time)

This one Is about my best friend, Toby Sivers. My boop. Some would say the boopiest boop to ever boop (bold claim I know).

Toby passed away - but he has never left my side.

He guides me every single day.

He speaks to me through music.

There are three especially significant songs that help me spell out three significant points In time between me and. Toby.

The first Is a song called "Push These Blues Away" by Ash Grunland and Josh Teskey). Toby used to howl and sing like a madman because It had his kryptonite - The Harmonica. When I discovered this song I was In a bit of a tough spot In life. A really tough spot. But. Toby was there every single day. Day In and day out.

I was enveloped In sadness around the time I discovered this song. I didn't care about much, Including myself. I didn't want to get out of bed or see sunlight.

But I had a responsibility - and that responsibility was Toby. The one thing I could not let slip Is giving Toby the life he deserved. So we would walk. And talk. Sometimes we would even talk and walk at the same time.

My boy - booper mcknight. He was a real ladies man. Woman fawned - but Toby Yawned because he ain't got time for that shit. What? Squirrels aren't going to catch themselves.

Toby was a trickster. He used to pick up disgusting things In his mouth when we would be out walking and make me chase him around In attempts to get whatever It was out of his mouth In order to save his life.

Life was good with Toby.

The next song Is called "He ain't Heavy, He's my brother" by The Hollies. This was a song that somehow made It's way to me during the next short, yet significant phase of our journey together.

In the fall of 2024 Toby developed a cough. One that didn't seem to be getting any better. So we went down the road to the vet. They diagnosed him with kennel cough and gave him some meds and we went back home for another week or so. The cough wasn't getting any better. Worse If anything. So we went back to the vet. They took some xrays. They weren't too concerning. So we went home with some hope and more meds.

Another week passed and the cough kept getting worse. Back to the vet. Another xray. A grey mass was spreading throughout both of his lungs. Cancer.

I got to spend four more days with Toby after this. A service came to Toby and I's home to say goodbye. I was holding him In his bed. November 6th. 2024.

Toby hasn't left my side since that day.

The third song Is called "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin, ASAP Rocky, and Roisee. This song came to. me shortly after Toby had passed. In the outro It says keep going. I know toby wants me to keep going - he always wanted what Is best for me and he knows what I am capable of now. I talk to him first thing In the morning and last thing at night. His ashes are at the foot of my bed.

I sold my house literally days after he passed. That was our house and there was no way I was going to be able to live there without him. Toby had really bad separation anxiety because he was born In Belarus and spent a lot of time In a crate travelling across the world. I bought him from someone In Surrey. Surrey to Edmonton was his last flight. But the fear remained. When I left Toby he cried the entire time. I was always on a 3-4 hour window before I had to come rescue my friend.

I love you my boy. I know you left me because It was time for me to move to the next phase. I miss you so much. More than words can say.

This was the last picture we took together:

(scroll to the bottom for all of the songs Including now)